it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
