Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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