Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize