just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
