You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize