As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
