Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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