Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
