batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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