i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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