too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
