Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize