yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
