Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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