Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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