Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
is wine microwaveable?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
