Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
should my penis look like a turkey
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
