so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize