Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
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Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
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(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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