I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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