I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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