I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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