my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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