her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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