Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
