I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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