Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i used baking grease as lip gloss
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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