just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I still have a little drunk in my system
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
