So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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