i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
we're making bets on your personal life
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
