he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
porn star boner night. come get it.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
