He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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