Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
