is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
