Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
