trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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