How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
