I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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