youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
