At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
