Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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