y did u give ur computer a hand job?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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