he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
