Cold hands, warm shart.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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