how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
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Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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