dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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