Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
