I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
