Sry I called you an 8
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
