So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
