Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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