I want to make a zoo with you.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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