at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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