i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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